Clean Jokes

Want some good clean jokes?  I’ve started a facebook page so that I can share all of my favorite jokes (clean only) and comics, mind games, etc.

You don’t have to be on facebook to view.

A few of the ones posted recently.

I do standup and my jokes are always clean, in terms of not swearing.

I don’t understand the 2+7 joke.

Anyway, I think this is a good one:
‘This morning I saw something that reminds me of you’
‘Awww that’s cute, what is it? can I see it?’
‘Don’t worry I’ve flushed it…’

Whats a pirates favorite letter?

You think it’d be “R” but his first love actually be the “C”

While we’re on the subject of pirate jokes:

Guy 1: What’s a pirate’s favorite crime to commit?
Guy 2: I don’t know Arrggh-son?
Guy 1: Piracy…

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You’ll never guess who I bumped into on the way to the eye doctor.

Everybody!

How does Moses make his coffee?
Hebrews it.

The Idea of a truly clean joke is the only truly clean joke.

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What?

I believe he means that thinking “truly clean jokes” are an actual thing is the only truly clean joke.

Because there is no truly clean joke in the first place… the idea that ‘clean jokes’ exist, is actually a joke.

not really…

What has 4 wheels and flies?

A garbage truck!

Another two pirate jokes:

Guy 1: What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?
Guy 2: Aaarrgghh (“R”)
Guy 1: …C

Guy 1: What branch of the military would a pirate be best suited in?
Guy 2: I don’t know, the Aaarrggghhh-my?
Guy 3: Dude, the navy…

Most of the garbage trucks I’ve seen have 8 wheels xP

What do you call birds that fly over a bay?
Bagels!

What do the Chicago Cubs and the Chicago Bears have in common?

Neither are any good at football.

P.S. Lifelong Cubs and Bears fan here ;D

Nice! So true hahaha (also a Chi town fan here)