Since I’m asking everyone for help, I figured id fill you all in on how I’ve been doing the past week. Lately I’ve been having chest discomfort, alot of anxiety and stress. I’ve found myself crying multiple times because of the weight of everything just keeps hitting me. Dialysis really takes its toll on me. I constantly get headaches, and getting sick. And lately I’ve found myself waking up multiple times throughout the night, even tried sleeping medicine and it had little to no effect in helping me sleep through the night. I feel like life is just becoming more horrible as each day goes by. Thank god for my amazing fiancé who is always by my side, she is my strength and light through the darkness. It kills me inside knowing she deserves so much better and I can’t give her that. She gives so much and does so much and never ask for anything in return. I just wish and pray that I could take her somewhere nice, show her a great time, give her the life she deserves. My lifestyle is so restricted because of my dialysis and kidney failure that I can’t really do alot of things that people who have a normal body can. To be honest I’m very jealous of everyone who has a normal body, who can live anyway they like, go wherever they want to go and not have to worry about taking medication or having to rely on a machine to keep you alive. I hate that I have to be put on a machine 3 days a week just to stay alive. Every one should know I am on the waiting list for a transplant, but with my blood type it could take up to 5-7 years.